Chris Angel is God

Do it!!! You can come back to life right?

I was watching Chris Angel the other day and after he levitated and walked up the side of a building I came to the realization that Chris Angel is God. If not God then he is Jesus reborn, I mean Jesus turned water into wine. But Chris Angel walks on water. He can cut off parts of his body and put them back on. He can disappear then reappear like a fuckin ghost or some shit.

That brings me to the name, Chris ANGEL …hmmm… last name is ANGEL.. sounds like its right in our face for all to see but we are all blind like Ray Fuckin Charles. Chris Angel is an actual Angel and he can do all those things that Jesus can do but better. I know your saying what about David Blaine?  FUCK DAVID BLAINE ! So now back to Chris Angel and Jesus Christ.

Chris Angel is amazing this guy first off is Greek .. and you know back in the day Greeks were people from Athens and Athens had warriors and big places to fight and watch soccer matches.  Greeks were the first people on the earth and they invented Slovakia and Gyro’s. God and Jesus never invented that Greeks did. And while I’m getting on that the Greeks had sex with sheep’s. Jesus didn’t have sex with gods creatures at all actually he supposedly never had sex with anyone. How can you be the son of God and not have sex with anything. If I was the son of God id be telling everyone that I was the son of God and id be smashing everything because everything is spectacular and nothing is fucking boring.

So Chris Angel is Greek and he can levitate bring himself back from the dead and get run over by a fuckin Hummer. Ask yourself can God get run over by a fuckin Hummer?  I think not .. and Chris Angel supposedly smells great ! Like cookies or some shit .. Jesus never smelled great .. he didn’t even smell bad .. he smelled like goat shit because he was a goat Herder and rode Chris Angels coat tails. He tried to be like Chris angel turning water into wine but Chris was like .. ha ha .. fuck water into wine .. I’m gonna turn nothing into something .. and he turned nothing into a great goat orgy from nothing .. FROM NOTHING.  He just snapped his fingers and boom goats out of the blue .. in orgy positions for every one to have when they want. I think that was pretty spectacular, he was an entrepreneur and gave sandals to the poor. That’s how Sandals Vacations became wealthy. Because it has the name Sandals in it.

So Chris Angel can disappear into the sand and walk on water and all that shit .. that’s crazy .. there should be a church called Angels of Chris church for me to go to and eat ice cream wich by the way was invented by Greeks and Greek the word actually means Angel in English. Besides you know Greeks invented Greece .. and Greece is really oil .. and oil makes the world go round, and that’s why Chris Angel is a God .. or he is God .. or more powerful like Voltron in space who looks over God .. and tell God .. look God .. I’m Voltron / Chris Angel I want you to get me a coffee and God is like no problem sir right away.

Do you think that Chris Angel vs Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris is like Jesus ..but just old and shit.. but serious .. Chris Angel would kick his stupid ass hole. I think Chris Angel would just turn Chuck Norris into a nute .. and then eat him because nutes are delicious. then he would burp and a earthquake would follow with death and disease. I know I know your saying David Blain .. FUCK DAVID BLAIN… if Chris Angel were to face off against David Blain .. Chris Angel wouldn’t even show up .. he would send Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris would fuck David Blain like a rabid fat goat in heat. By the way Greeks also invented heat.. have you ever been to Greece? Its hot there and that’s why Chris Angel created Star Trek because Star Trek and Tupac are HOT !  Paris Hilton didn’t even invent that word Hot .. Chris Angel did but because Paris Hilton is one of Chris Angels bitches .. because Chris Angel is a pimp .. hes Greek and has a giant heard of roaming goats and sheep remember. Anyway he invented Hot .. and Greek spelt backwards is Keerg and Keerg is like Keg wich is full of delicious beer and Chris Angel Invented it.

Look Chris Angel is higher then god or anyone like that .. and he does what he wants and that’s why he has a TV show and you dontso you cant even claim that im wrong. shhhhhhhh  just zip ..zip it.

I’m LeeRoy and Chris Angel is the Voltron of the universe and God is his bitch.