Save The Enviroment Run The Country Into The Ground

Environment maan! Stop Global warming, pass me a bong!

You know recently over the last couple of years people have been preaching about saving the environment. Global warming and saving whales and birds;  and don’t club baby seals no more.

You know, these people are taking the fun out of life. I have never clubbed a a baby seal but my gawd those people must have fun, okay I’m just kidding but seriously these people are pissing me off.

The first question I have is, do you people even work?  I mean, I see you guys on the street and out front of government buildings all the time. But you hippies don’t have full time jobs? How do you live? I’m all for protesting its a free country (not) but protesting about climate change is a waste of time.

Look how cute it is when it's not all bashed into a bloody pulp..

If people would spend more time protesting about our taxes, insurance rates or jail time for criminals maybe we would actually get somewhere. But protesting about climate change in Canada of all places is a joke. We are low on the list for environmental gasses. Go to China and protest them, go to Russia and protest them. How about the USA?  Go there and protest them.

The fact that people are losing their jobs at the moment and that we are in a recession and you people have the nerve to show up in Ottawa to protest and ask for environmental changes shows how obviously retarded you are. Yeah, instead of putting money into creating jobs and helping people get back on their feet, let’s tax companies for spewing smoke and close down power plants that are providing us with jobs and energy.

The 60's hippies are now either dead, or homeless. All these ones are dead from AIDS.

How many companies do you think will leave Canada because of stupid shit like that? They can go anywhere in Europe or go back to the United states and make their money.

Look I agree that the world is changing and we need to reduce emissions and carbons and stuff like that, but you need to implement things slowly and smartly. A large change in the way we live will bankrupt this country and the only countries that will profit and benefit will be India, China and any of the countries that don’t have to abide by any of those laws despite the fact that they are the worst.

You think riding your bike to work will stop climate change? And walking around in the dark in your house without the heat on bundled up in a snow suit and eating lettuce that you grew in your backyard will save the environment?

Our Mom is an environmental bitch, until she gets in her Hummer. It makes her feel "safe".

Good go ahead and be stupid. Eating food that you grow yourself is great, I say fuck the companies that charge all this money for shit you can grow yourself. If you can save money by not having to pay for gas and insurance and a car payment, that’s great all the power to you.

But when you think that you are better then the average person because you actually think your doing something for the environment when in reality you are probably one of those people that carry your biodegradable bags into Sobey’s spend 3 times the amount for products then any normal grocery store costs. Then you pay with your bank card or credit card costing you more, walk back out to your SUV that you don’t use to go off-roading, that you only use to go grocery shopping and take your kids to school because you think a mini van is not in style. Your insurance premiums are double the amount of any normal person because you choose to drive an expensive SUV.

Besides, it's all the soccer moms that are crashing into everything anyways. Crashing is not environmentally friendly..

Or you purchased your BMW or Mercedes and spend $300 every 400o kms to get an oil change and $1000 to have a headlight changed because you decided you had to have an overpriced unreliable German headache so people around you think you got money and your cool.

FUCK OFF..

I’m tired of it, I’m tired of seeing you people trying to help the environment by doing stupid shit. How about the idiots that were so mad they went to a Hummer dealership and set 6 Hummers on fire with gasoline to prove a point that those cars waste gas and hurt the environment? While I agree they do, you just wasted a can of gasoline, that’s 1,  2) Insurance companies just paid out for new vehicles so insurance premiums probably went up in the area. 3) All the smoke chemicals  from the fires went right up into the air that we all breathe. Good Job !!

I’m LeeRoy …………….. I’m hoping for Global warming because its delicious.

People on bikes piss off everyone, everywhere.

How do we get bikers to obey traffic laws? – [Slate Magazine]

Heading home from work yesterday, I ran five red lights and three stop signs, went the wrong way down a one-way street, and took a left across two lanes of oncoming traffic. My excuse: I was on a bike.

I’m far from the only menace on two wheels. A colleague was recently slapped with a moving violation after breezing through a stop sign. My roommate was pulled over 30 feet from our house for the same infraction. And driving around Washington, D.C., recently, I saw a cop scribbling out a ticket to a bewildered biker.

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(se: So it’s true.  Everyone everywhere hates people on bikes.  Basically you know what it is, 99% of people on bicycles believe that they own the road and don’t have to follow the rules of the road.  They get a bike, ride all over the road, don’t signal, don’t follow the rules, and expect everyone to live with it, and go out of their way for them.  A few nights ago I almost ran over two bikers dressed in black, on black bikes, with no lights or reflectors, as they just zig zagged back and forth across the road in a poorly lit area.  You know what would have happened if I hit them right? Some faggy bicycle organization would be calling for my head.

That's what you get for riding like a douche. Fucking hippy..

When I was younger, I was driving around downtown one day, and this biker flew over my hood.  She got up, picked up her bike and started yelling at me while my friend laughed his head off.  She was trying to tell me that I should be looking out for bikers and that she had the right away. This despite her hitting my car and flying over the hood, not me running into her.  She actually rode into the side of my car. The motto of the story? You can’t ride your bike across traffic when cars have the right away and expect everyone is going to stop for you.  You should be following the lights just as cars do.

I would love for Toronto to create a law that says that bike owners need to have their bikes plated and insured, and that they need to pass a bike safety course to get a bicycle license. Make sure they have to legally wear a helmet, have a bell or horn, reflectors and a light on their bike, and HAVE to obey the traffic code just like cars or face nice fat fines.  This would be a perfect way to get these fuckers respecting the road, and keeping people out of danger.  I am still waiting to strangle my first biker, and at this rate it might be soon.)

Flying Saucer in Colorado

So some time today news stations began reporting a flying saucer was being tracked through Colorado. Then they claimed that it was actually a weather balloon, then they said its a weather balloon shaped like a flying saucer with a 6 year old boy in it. Then at one point the Colorado air defense lifted off some jets to chase the balloon. Then a Black Hawk helicopter took off and tracked the flying saucer air balloon with a 6 year old in it (you following?). So as CNN is video taping this, something looks like it falls from the balloon. CNN the great news station they are, begin to report something falling from the balloon and that it could be the 6 year old boy.

OMFG! WTF! IS THAT A UFO?

While all this is going on, eventually this thing runs out of helium and begins to land. People run to the balloon to see if the boy is there, and nope he is not. So now lets not panic. OH YEAH, it’s CNN. OMG! The little 6 year old must have fallen out of the balloon. OH the humanity! So everyone is watching this all unfold like its the end of the world. While the police were explaining that the child is still missing someone runs up and says they found the boy. OMG! The kid was hiding in the attic under a cardboard box. He was never in the balloon, and most of this story is stupid.

Now interestingly enough, the family was on Wife Swap recently talking about all the great things that this father does and how he lets his kids roam free to experience all the great things in life. You know, like chasing tornado’s and any other crazy weather phenomenon. He brings his kids with him, and look what he gets. Stupid ass caused a damn national terror alert and cost the United States millions of dollars chasing a hot air balloon with jet fighter planes, helicopters, police, and other crazy people that joined in the chase. Only in the USA can stupid shit like this happen.

What would I do in this situation? Well after I find my son hiding under a cardboard box in the attic I think I would beat the living shit out of him. First you fucked up my UFO.  That’s a big no-no asshole. Second we thought you were in my UFO, and you know daddy is the only pilot of my interstellar space balloon. Third, it just cost the country millions for no apparent reason and CNN had to warn everyone with the breaking news bullshit that there was a 6 year old in a UFO balloon. If I was the father I would tell the kid to sit in the corner and think about what he did. Sit in the corner of the locked basement cellar for a good week till that shit for brains understands that untying a fucking UFO balloon isn’t too smart and probably will end up scaring the shit out of people in the end.

Either way this is funny shit and I want to know where I can buy one of these things freak my neighbors out and shit. I guess we now know the answer to Roswell!

LeeRoy out..

Dying Fads: Crocs

It’s funny how new fads pop up, and become the benchmark for how hip, cool, or different a person is.

Usually in fashion a fad comes out, it costs an arm an a leg to get into, and it slowly gets duplicated into a cheap knock off, and then it’s dead. However you still have the people that initially sunk so much money into it when it was new and exciting, so they try to keep the fad going.  It’s a funny cycle.

I have been caught up before in fads, and got a lot wiser when it came to that game.

I remember in the mid/late 80’s when it was all about bright neon everything.  Pants, sunglasses, fanny packs, etc. The 90’s brought you brightly colored pants, shirts, and shoes, like Champions and Patrick Ewings.  Not to forget all those other 80/90’s fad like box haircuts, jheri curls, long glam hair on guys, shoulder pads, doc martins and etc.

What notable fashion fad came out of the mid millennium? Crocs.

Yes, Crocs.

Fashion statement? No. Fashionable? No. Cool? No.  Basically it’s hard to justify wearing Crocs. I have heard they are comfortable, but then again, so are fluffy bunny slippers, and either way you go, they both look bad. Is comfort the new fashion statement?

It’s not like you’re going to go out and see models, hipsters, rappers, and wannabe executives in Crocs. You’re seeing soccer moms, lazy people, stay at home dads, hippies, loungers, and old people in them. Does that make them fashionable? No.  I don’t know how you would find these people fashionable enough to want to be like them.

Broooo! Are we hot or what? Let's go daterape!

It’s funny though how we stereotype though fads though.  Funny enough usually we’re right. A big fad of 2 years ago that is dying to hold on is Ed Hardy stuff.  Ed Hardy came out with some clothes that usually had some tattoo inspired designs on them and they were quickly snapped up by a lot of douchy celebrities and muscians.  It didn’t take long for every wanna be douche to run out and try to emulate this style. Soon you had people running out to buy Ed Hardy shirts, get tattoos, buy fake diamonds, wear sideways hats and get a coke habit.  You’d go to a fancy club, and you’d see dozens of douche clones running around trying to be that “Ed Hardy Guy”.  Unfortunately, as the style progressed, everyone was duplicating it, and Ed Hardy licensed the brand out to everyone.  Now you can find Ed Hardy mugs, lighters, rugs, pencils, knapsacks, placemats, etc.

While the Ed Hardy fad is holding on to it’s last few minutes of popularity, Crocs has been been holding on to it’s last few seconds for a few years. It’s funny to see the stock (CROX) going up though, because it seems that their sales are flat and Crocs have all but disappeared from the mainstream.  A few years back you would see kids with their yuppie parents all in Crocs, but now, where are the Crocs?

If you walk around Chinatown, you will see $5 knock off Crocs that are even having a hard time selling.

How long do Crocs have before they are just a distant memory?  Well Crocs has released a whole bunch of different type of Crocs shoes now, and has opened a bunch of stores.  Will it help? Probably not. Look for Crocs stores closing for good at a mall near you.

10 Stupid Tips for a Green Thanksgiving

This was actually in the newspaper and I could not believe what the hell I was reading. So I decided to post it up .. and add a couple more tips on how to make your Thanksgiving green.

1. Stay Close to Home - Thanksgiving is traditionally a time when airports and highways are jam packed. Why not skip spending time with your family and friends save some carbon to help the environment ?

Really?  After reading this I wanted to go outside with aerosol cans and spray them directly into the air. I want to leave my car running in a parking lot by itself all day while i’m at work. I want to dig a hole in my backyard and fill it with my recycling.

2. Keep it simple – Instead of spending all day cooking to amaze your friends. Using tons of electricity and killing the earth why not cook everything on a BBQ or serve cold food that still tastes great.

WTF?  You know as a man I will tell you that hot Thanksgiving Turkey mash potatoes and piping hot gravy drizzled over everything is amazing. These people must be crazy .. cold food?  No TV ?  No lights?

3. Go Vegetarian – You will be amazed at how many option you have cooking vegetarian thanksgiving dinner. Livestock put a huge strain on the planet.

Okay okay.  I see where they are going with this. Really?  I mean seriously?  This is the reason why you wonder …hmm… why isn’t anyone coming over for Thanksgiving dinner? OHHH.. that’s right because we are retarded!  Cooking vegetarian meals on thanksgiving is like farting in a full elevator. No one wants to be around you. Assholes!

4. Serve Organic Beverages – Speaks for itself other then local wines that are organic.

Hey MOM what would you like to drink? ummm… We got  black bean drink, we got ice cold asparagus soda too. Hey POP want a beer I got apple cider from the native reserve, the label says Dickens Cider. Fuck off!

Stupid hippy getting ready for Thanksgiving

5. Use What You Have – This is one of the easiest cheapest ways to go green any day of the year, and it works on Thanksgiving too. You don’t need fancy dishes or glasses. Just use your regular dishes no one will care.

Really? I fuckin’ care.  If I come over to your welfare ass house and you try to serve me on old ass dishes, this is what would happen: You: “Here you go LeeRoy here is your plate of vegetarian ball sack on our old ass dishes and a ice cold glass of carrot juice, juiced by myself.”  Me: “What the fuck is this? Are you fuckin’ retarded MOM?”  *SMASH!  PLATE UPSIDE THE HEAD* Glass of carrot shit into the wall. WTF, you cheap ass, go cash another government check and purchase some fuckin’ new plates those were handed down from great great grandma!  Fuckin’ flower designs are as old as Jesus. Why are you serving me this shit?  You trying to kill me with your cold ass vegetables and ass drink? Fuck this im going to McPukes!

6. Buy From the Goodwill – Purchase your table cloth, gravy bowl, spoons or anything else you need from the Goodwill. Because its better to buy second hand to save the environment.

OMG!  After reading this I honestly punched the first person next to me in the face. Are you serious? This is your plan to save the environment?  Anyone honestly thinking about doing this to save the environment is honestly retarded. Like mentally. This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. But it gets better.

7. Decorate With Natural Materials – Skip purchasing decor from stores, instead go for a nice long walk in the woods and grab some pine-cones and sticks.

Grab leaves and bird nests and nuts and berries hang them all over your house like a fuckin’ big foot would in his cave. Fuck off…

8. Illuminate you home with beeswax or soy candles – Yes don’t use your electricity instead put beeswax all over your home and light it up. .

Oh and don’t use a lighter, because it made of plastic and stuff. Light the beeswax by rubbing two sticks together or striking rocks.

That’s the end of the stupid shit that is getting spewed out of the mouths of assholes who carry there own fuckin’ bags into the stores to purchase food and the people that are jogging every morning and farting stinky vegetable farts in the elevators that you have to deal with. These people suck. Back in the 80’s when every car was a gas polluting pig and the coal power plants spewed black smoke into the sky, now that was great. Now everyone wants to drive a hybrid, eat organic vegetables and cry about baby seals.  Fuck it .. I don’t care ..

I’m LeeRoy .. Go fuck yourself Green Peace !!

Phoenix the dog dies. Please someone tell me you saw this coming.

Emanciated dog Phoenix is dead

A severely neglected dog that captured hearts across the GTA this summer has died.

Phoenix, the blond chow found emaciated and covered in open sores in Courtice last August, was put to sleep Friday at Clarington Animal Hospital.

“The cancer had caught up with him,” said Debby Houghton, an animal cruelty investigator for the Humane Society of Durham Region.

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(se: Jesus.  Didn’t you see this coming?  The dog looked like it was stuck in a blender.  You’re the Humane Society, you should know better.  The dog had cancer.  God damn people have cancer and we’re still walking and riding for a cure 10 times a year for the last 25 years and we can’t cure shit. People are dying from cancer.  What made you think the dog was going to survive and get better.  This dog was worth about $5 million dollars by the time it died with the amount of money that was put into caring for it.  Most people won’t even spend that caring for their grandparents.  When they first showed a picture of that dog after they rescued it, I was like, shit, that dog is going to die, and that’s even before I knew it had cancer.  Hopefully you people learned your lesson for next time. The Humane Society puts dogs to sleep because they run out of space, but then keep a half dead dog alive for a year and let it die on it’s own. WTF?)