Tasers kill everyone, Taser International CEO buys the office donuts when someone survives

Taser Intl. says stun gun didn’t kill Dziekanski

VANCOUVER — The maker of the Taser stun gun is categorically rejecting assertions the high-voltage weapon had anything to do with the 2007 death of Polish immigrant Robert Dziekanski.

Say bye to my wife and kids for me...Uggghhhhhh...

In it’s final submission to the public inquiry into Dziekanski’s death exactly two years ago Wednesday, Taser International Inc. also slams the commission for perceived unfairness in letting “novel theories” and speculative evidence about his death go largely unchallenged.

Taser’s lawyers told inquiry commissioner Thomas Braidwood on Tuesday that current medical and scientific research on sudden death during restraint excludes the weapon as the cause of death.

“The Taser device is the latest in a long line of police tools to be scrutinized in respect of sudden in-custody death,” the U.S.-based company’s submission says.

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STOP! Or I will KILL the fuck out of you!

(se: Note: The tag “i might kill someone” should be retitled “you will probably kill someone”. It’s true, oh it’s true.  Every 30 seconds, someone is dying from getting tasered.  Tasering people is like the big thing now.  Before a cop had to worry about shooting you because he would have to fill out a report, and then you usually ended up dead 95% of the time, and you know, usually they pump you with a whole clip, and people look down on that.  Now, for any little reason, you just taser a person.  Someone talks back to you, they won’t put up their hands, they are going nuts, etc. TASER!  Don’t tase me bro! I am surprised that everyone at Taser International hasn’t been sent to the Hague to face a war crime tribunal.  I am quite sure that tasers have been responsible for more deaths than Hitler, and Hitler was not using non-lethal force. The new rule of thumb is that if you have a chance to get beat up by the cops with a billy stick, just got for that option, at least you won’t be dead before they get you into the cop car..)

Oct. 26 is going to be awesome in Ontario!

It’s almost time to party!

In Ontario , Canada, come October 26 it will be illegal to txt and use cellphones. Now you are allowed to use headsets, but it only seems that men mostly use these devices anyhow.

What this means is that you can drive your car without almost being sideswiped or rear ended every 2 minutes. When I used to drive to work from downtown, I would leave my condo and I would see every woman coming up from the parking garage pressing send and putting their phone to their ear. There went a swarm of people that couldn’t change lanes, make turns or pay attention.

When I use my phone driving, it’s usually quick 1 minute call. Not me sitting on the phone for an hour talking to another chick that’s also driving, gossiping and talking about my new haircut and etc.

What will this law mean for you? Well your daily commute will be less stressful because you won’t be losing your shit when a woman talking on her phone cuts across 3 lanes of traffic without looking and almost hits you.

It’s going to be good for us guys, but sad for you women. Get ready men, your women will never want to drive anymore, and everyone will live happily ever after (with less dents in their cars).