Archive for the ‘global warming’ Category:
Tips on having a Green Christmas
With food:
1. When purchasing food over the holidays only purchase from local farmers. If you don’t have a farm close to your home, you can get free food from the food bank who doesn’t care if you make over $100,000 a year and drive a 2009 Lexus ISF. Load the trunk up with as much free food that you can get that will save the environment.
2. Recycling food: You can recycle food from prior get-togethers. That Baptism cake from back in August is still good a little dry but just add some water to it to moisten it up. You can also add olive oil and a little milk to revive that 6 month old cake. Peel the icing off with the Baptism names on it or what ever is on it and put new icing. Just make sure its icing that you made yourself.
3. While you’re cooking your food, leave the oven door open and turn off your heat in the house. Your oven will heat your house.
4. Grow your own fruit, vegetables, turkey’s in your back yard.
5. Fill everyone’s glasses that you widdled out of wood prior .. with snow.. it will be a nice cold snack while they sit there and when it melts it will be a good portion of protein and water.
6. Make lots and lots of salad out of tree leaves and pine cones and squirrel nuts.
Free tree from last year! Score motherfucker!
Green Decorating tips for Christmas:
1. Use real shit. Instead of buying fake mistletoe use real toes. Instead of fake plastic ornaments….make your own ornaments from carving wood into little animals, or use things around your house just hang those things off the tree. Like ear phones, used extension cords as garland, and use a barbie doll for the angel on top. Use pine cones and dead leaves that you find outside your house.
2. Buying a Christmas tree? Don’t bother you are killing the environment by doing this. And don’t buy a fake tree because you are killing the environment with a plastic tree. Buy a tree from a garden store that you can keep indoors all year round in a pot. If that doesn’t work then build a fake tree by carving old wood that you have laying around into a tree and a bicycle for fun.
3. Instead of Christmas lights that waste electricity why not purchase candles and place them along your roof top for a nice fiery glow at night.
4. Decorating your dog on Christmas will save the environment, you can take old socks or underwear and re-use them to make pretty little sweaters for your dog to stay warm instead of dying a freezing cold death and ruining Christmas for you and your rotten children that wont walk him.
5. Decorate your kitchen table with wood or pine cones and leaves, place a tip jar in the middle and watch how much you make from your family. They may think its funny but they will put money in it because they are stupid and you are smart.
6. Instead of carpet tear up your grass in the back yard and use it in your dining room and at the front door of your house. Not only does it smell great it looks nice and expensive as well as it will insulate your home while your heat is off.
7. Shaving cream looks like snow. So save the environment and spray everything with shaving cream then punch your dog in the face till it stops barking.
The Xmas Rocket
Staying green while you holiday travel:
1. Walk to your family’s house, ski to your family’s house only with real ski’s that you made out of wood. Don’t ever use your car or train or plane.. your killing the world and baby Jesus is crying because of you.
2. Ride your bike with your child on your back in a sack. Make sure this is not a metal store bought bike that will kill the earth, make sure you widdle with your rambo knife (never use a chain saw because your killing the environment) a clown bike with 3 seats or even 8 seats that your entire family can enjoy peddling over the hills they go laughing all the way in a wooden clown bike that seats 8 in the snow.
Enough gifts for everyone!
Green Gifts to give:
1. The best gift to give is your time. You slaved all year for a paycheck the least your ungrateful children and wife can do is shut the fuck up for Christmas. If your asked what you want for Christmas say you want to be left alone.. not only will this save you money this will save the environment and the risk of one of your children being punched in the fucking skull for talking back during present time.
2. Give your children the gifts that keep on giving, a nice piece of wood and a knife to crave themselves an Xbox. This way not only will you be saving the environment you will be teaching your children a good lesson in working for a living and carving skills that they will need when they get older.
3. When your wife looks at you and wonders where her gift is .. tell her that your the gift that keeps giving everyday. She will realize what she has and shut the fuck up.
4. Giving gifts to your extended family? Don’t.. instead write on a piece of toilet paper Merry Christmas with a chocolate brown organic marker not only will they be happy to receive your Christmas wish they will be amazed that you were able to write so neatly with your own shit on toilet paper.
5. Make wooden whoopie cushions for everyone so that when everyone is making the whoopie cushions toot ..you can pass gas all night not only are you saving the environment you are heating yourself and the house. You are also recycling your intake of food into gas to keep you warm.
I’m LeeRoy .. and have a Merry Green Environmentally Ill Christmas.
Environment maan! Stop Global warming, pass me a bong!
You know recently over the last couple of years people have been preaching about saving the environment. Global warming and saving whales and birds; and don’t club baby seals no more.
You know, these people are taking the fun out of life. I have never clubbed a a baby seal but my gawd those people must have fun, okay I’m just kidding but seriously these people are pissing me off.
The first question I have is, do you people even work? I mean, I see you guys on the street and out front of government buildings all the time. But you hippies don’t have full time jobs? How do you live? I’m all for protesting its a free country (not) but protesting about climate change is a waste of time.
Look how cute it is when it's not all bashed into a bloody pulp..
If people would spend more time protesting about our taxes, insurance rates or jail time for criminals maybe we would actually get somewhere. But protesting about climate change in Canada of all places is a joke. We are low on the list for environmental gasses. Go to China and protest them, go to Russia and protest them. How about the USA? Go there and protest them.
The fact that people are losing their jobs at the moment and that we are in a recession and you people have the nerve to show up in Ottawa to protest and ask for environmental changes shows how obviously retarded you are. Yeah, instead of putting money into creating jobs and helping people get back on their feet, let’s tax companies for spewing smoke and close down power plants that are providing us with jobs and energy.
The 60's hippies are now either dead, or homeless. All these ones are dead from AIDS.
How many companies do you think will leave Canada because of stupid shit like that? They can go anywhere in Europe or go back to the United states and make their money.
Look I agree that the world is changing and we need to reduce emissions and carbons and stuff like that, but you need to implement things slowly and smartly. A large change in the way we live will bankrupt this country and the only countries that will profit and benefit will be India, China and any of the countries that don’t have to abide by any of those laws despite the fact that they are the worst.
You think riding your bike to work will stop climate change? And walking around in the dark in your house without the heat on bundled up in a snow suit and eating lettuce that you grew in your backyard will save the environment?
Our Mom is an environmental bitch, until she gets in her Hummer. It makes her feel "safe".
Good go ahead and be stupid. Eating food that you grow yourself is great, I say fuck the companies that charge all this money for shit you can grow yourself. If you can save money by not having to pay for gas and insurance and a car payment, that’s great all the power to you.
But when you think that you are better then the average person because you actually think your doing something for the environment when in reality you are probably one of those people that carry your biodegradable bags into Sobey’s spend 3 times the amount for products then any normal grocery store costs. Then you pay with your bank card or credit card costing you more, walk back out to your SUV that you don’t use to go off-roading, that you only use to go grocery shopping and take your kids to school because you think a mini van is not in style. Your insurance premiums are double the amount of any normal person because you choose to drive an expensive SUV.
Besides, it's all the soccer moms that are crashing into everything anyways. Crashing is not environmentally friendly..
Or you purchased your BMW or Mercedes and spend $300 every 400o kms to get an oil change and $1000 to have a headlight changed because you decided you had to have an overpriced unreliable German headache so people around you think you got money and your cool.
FUCK OFF..
I’m tired of it, I’m tired of seeing you people trying to help the environment by doing stupid shit. How about the idiots that were so mad they went to a Hummer dealership and set 6 Hummers on fire with gasoline to prove a point that those cars waste gas and hurt the environment? While I agree they do, you just wasted a can of gasoline, that’s 1, 2) Insurance companies just paid out for new vehicles so insurance premiums probably went up in the area. 3) All the smoke chemicals from the fires went right up into the air that we all breathe. Good Job !!
I’m LeeRoy …………….. I’m hoping for Global warming because its delicious.
How do we get bikers to obey traffic laws? – [Slate Magazine]
Heading home from work yesterday, I ran five red lights and three stop signs, went the wrong way down a one-way street, and took a left across two lanes of oncoming traffic. My excuse: I was on a bike.
I’m far from the only menace on two wheels. A colleague was recently slapped with a moving violation after breezing through a stop sign. My roommate was pulled over 30 feet from our house for the same infraction. And driving around Washington, D.C., recently, I saw a cop scribbling out a ticket to a bewildered biker.
—-
(se: So it’s true. Everyone everywhere hates people on bikes. Basically you know what it is, 99% of people on bicycles believe that they own the road and don’t have to follow the rules of the road. They get a bike, ride all over the road, don’t signal, don’t follow the rules, and expect everyone to live with it, and go out of their way for them. A few nights ago I almost ran over two bikers dressed in black, on black bikes, with no lights or reflectors, as they just zig zagged back and forth across the road in a poorly lit area. You know what would have happened if I hit them right? Some faggy bicycle organization would be calling for my head.
That's what you get for riding like a douche. Fucking hippy..
When I was younger, I was driving around downtown one day, and this biker flew over my hood. She got up, picked up her bike and started yelling at me while my friend laughed his head off. She was trying to tell me that I should be looking out for bikers and that she had the right away. This despite her hitting my car and flying over the hood, not me running into her. She actually rode into the side of my car. The motto of the story? You can’t ride your bike across traffic when cars have the right away and expect everyone is going to stop for you. You should be following the lights just as cars do.
I would love for Toronto to create a law that says that bike owners need to have their bikes plated and insured, and that they need to pass a bike safety course to get a bicycle license. Make sure they have to legally wear a helmet, have a bell or horn, reflectors and a light on their bike, and HAVE to obey the traffic code just like cars or face nice fat fines. This would be a perfect way to get these fuckers respecting the road, and keeping people out of danger. I am still waiting to strangle my first biker, and at this rate it might be soon.)
Holy Jesus.
It’s cold out. Not eskimo and polar bear cold, but cold enough that I don’t like it. Summer this year sucked, and the fall has been cold and rainy.
This is Canada. Except for August.
Is this global warming? I don’t think so. There doesn’t seem to be any fucking warming here. Even summer was cold and shitty.
What does this mean? It means that Canada is cold, and if you have to leave your house it sucks. Why would you leave your house? Well we are not bears. We need to go to work so that we can buy stuff and pay bills so that we can survive to be able to go to work.
Work is like crack. Even if you are trying to stop, you just need to do it.
Anyways, summer. Not around the corner.
Why are there no Mexicans in Canada? Because it’s cold. That’s why Mexicans are smart. They will stay where it’s warm, even if it means making $5 a day.
Until real global warming kicks in, we’re a bunch of cold fuckers.
I think all of Toronto has been enjoying this crazy warm weather we’ve been having lately, with temperatures reaching 15 degrees, it reminds me of Melbourne, Australia in Winter.
Gobal Warming is something that we have been hearing about for years, and a lot of people have been blowing off this theory for all those years as it has seemed like one of those hippy PETA vegetarian conspiracies. Unfortunately, it’s hard to actually come up with any explanation for this crazy ass weather.
In the US they have been having tornados, floods, and of course snow storms, even in places where this type of weather has not been seen in decades.
A lot of the current weather in Toronto has hit new records, by even double and triple what has been seen historically. Does this mean that we are in some serious trouble?
I have been seeing animals that are normally hibernating at this time of year back outside looking for food, and probably thinking that spring has hit once again. Boy, are they in for a surprise.
Apprently we are heading back into a Winter mode soo which means, cold and snow. You can only imagine how much it sucks to go from snow and -20, to 15 degrees and sunshine, and then back again.
Is the end of the world near? Probably not, but with weather like this, I’m sure we’re going to have some interesting adventures ahead. I’m waiting to go rollerbladng in February indeed.
We’ll see….
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