Do we really care about Hati?

What happens when you mix egomaniacs, social networking, and wide spread media coverage?

You get Hati as it sits right now.

Soon as the earthquake hit Hati, Twitter and Facebook went nuts, some people even noted a slowdown in service from both sites.

But that’s because we care right?

Not really. We seem to be more interested in other people thinking that we care. What is a good cause if other people can’t see that you care about that cause.

Did anyone care about Hati before the quake? No.

Seriously, no. It is an island full of poor 3rd world black people. No one gave a fuck. It was still poor, broken and had it’s issues.

Lesson to you 3rd world counties. Disaster gets you noticed.

Until the next disaster, thanks to your egos for rebuilding Hati.

Save The Enviroment Run The Country Into The Ground

Environment maan! Stop Global warming, pass me a bong!

You know recently over the last couple of years people have been preaching about saving the environment. Global warming and saving whales and birds;  and don’t club baby seals no more.

You know, these people are taking the fun out of life. I have never clubbed a a baby seal but my gawd those people must have fun, okay I’m just kidding but seriously these people are pissing me off.

The first question I have is, do you people even work?  I mean, I see you guys on the street and out front of government buildings all the time. But you hippies don’t have full time jobs? How do you live? I’m all for protesting its a free country (not) but protesting about climate change is a waste of time.

Look how cute it is when it's not all bashed into a bloody pulp..

If people would spend more time protesting about our taxes, insurance rates or jail time for criminals maybe we would actually get somewhere. But protesting about climate change in Canada of all places is a joke. We are low on the list for environmental gasses. Go to China and protest them, go to Russia and protest them. How about the USA?  Go there and protest them.

The fact that people are losing their jobs at the moment and that we are in a recession and you people have the nerve to show up in Ottawa to protest and ask for environmental changes shows how obviously retarded you are. Yeah, instead of putting money into creating jobs and helping people get back on their feet, let’s tax companies for spewing smoke and close down power plants that are providing us with jobs and energy.

The 60's hippies are now either dead, or homeless. All these ones are dead from AIDS.

How many companies do you think will leave Canada because of stupid shit like that? They can go anywhere in Europe or go back to the United states and make their money.

Look I agree that the world is changing and we need to reduce emissions and carbons and stuff like that, but you need to implement things slowly and smartly. A large change in the way we live will bankrupt this country and the only countries that will profit and benefit will be India, China and any of the countries that don’t have to abide by any of those laws despite the fact that they are the worst.

You think riding your bike to work will stop climate change? And walking around in the dark in your house without the heat on bundled up in a snow suit and eating lettuce that you grew in your backyard will save the environment?

Our Mom is an environmental bitch, until she gets in her Hummer. It makes her feel "safe".

Good go ahead and be stupid. Eating food that you grow yourself is great, I say fuck the companies that charge all this money for shit you can grow yourself. If you can save money by not having to pay for gas and insurance and a car payment, that’s great all the power to you.

But when you think that you are better then the average person because you actually think your doing something for the environment when in reality you are probably one of those people that carry your biodegradable bags into Sobey’s spend 3 times the amount for products then any normal grocery store costs. Then you pay with your bank card or credit card costing you more, walk back out to your SUV that you don’t use to go off-roading, that you only use to go grocery shopping and take your kids to school because you think a mini van is not in style. Your insurance premiums are double the amount of any normal person because you choose to drive an expensive SUV.

Besides, it's all the soccer moms that are crashing into everything anyways. Crashing is not environmentally friendly..

Or you purchased your BMW or Mercedes and spend $300 every 400o kms to get an oil change and $1000 to have a headlight changed because you decided you had to have an overpriced unreliable German headache so people around you think you got money and your cool.

FUCK OFF..

I’m tired of it, I’m tired of seeing you people trying to help the environment by doing stupid shit. How about the idiots that were so mad they went to a Hummer dealership and set 6 Hummers on fire with gasoline to prove a point that those cars waste gas and hurt the environment? While I agree they do, you just wasted a can of gasoline, that’s 1,  2) Insurance companies just paid out for new vehicles so insurance premiums probably went up in the area. 3) All the smoke chemicals  from the fires went right up into the air that we all breathe. Good Job !!

I’m LeeRoy …………….. I’m hoping for Global warming because its delicious.

Hulkamanic Depressive

Hulk Hogan – Hulk Hogan Floored By Marriage – [Contactmusic News]

Hulk Hogan thought about killing himself, even going as far as holding a loaded gun, when his marriage ended.

The legendary wrestler – real name Terry Bollea – got as far as picking up a gun to shoot himself when wife Linda Bollea filed for divorce after nearly 24 years together, following claims he had had an affair in 2007.

In his autobiography, ‘My Life Outside the Ring’, Hulk wrote: “There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy.

“Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger… and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction I would have blown my brains out.”

Hulk’s depression descended further when his son Nick was indicted on reckless driving charges. He had been involved in an accident which left his friend and passenger, John Graziano, with a broken skull and in need of lifelong medical care.

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Wow. Hulk's looking pretty old..

(se: Shiiiit.. I don’t think it was the divorce itself that messed up Hulk Hogan, I think it was the fact that his wife was a stupid bitch and she’s milking him for every penny she can get.  Especially the cars.  I think I covered this before and said that he should just OJ her.  It’s bad enough that she is taking his money, which isn’t hers, that she didn’t earn, and she is taking his house, but the cars?  You evil bitch!  I guess also having a douchebag son that’s a loser wannabe fast and furious racer, and a daughter that looks like a guy that can’t sing, but keeps trying (sure, I guess you get bonus points for trying..), man..it’s like a horrific suicide just waiting to happen.  Hulk should have just killed his entire family when he had the chance..)

Women firefighters think they’re sex objects, disregard the fact that they actually look like guys

Women fighting fires in see-through uniforms – [News.com.au]

A WET T-shirt controversy has broken out among female firefighters who have complained their new Rural Fire Service shirts become see-through when wet.

More than 600 volunteers joined a Facebook petition to object to the issuing of the bright yellow shirts to replace existing navy blue ones.

Women complained that when they sweat, handle leaking hoses, wash or fill their trucks and even when it rains, their male colleagues can see through their new shirts, The Daily Telegraph reports.

“Most women aren’t too happy about it. We’re not doing the job to be glamorous. We’re not sex objects,” Sydney volunteer Maryann Berndt, 34, said yesterday.

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I wanna see her tits like I want to burn to death in a fire.

(se: Everyone knows that female firefighters usually look like guys, drag queens, or trannies, c’mon.  No one is trying to look at your breasts.  That gross.  Everyone knows that real women don’t become fire fighters. See you want to do the jobs that men do, and then you complain how things aren’t catered for you.  So now a shirt has to be redesigned to meet your needs, but all the guys are fine with wearing it.

Apparently the firefighter test also had to be made easier for women to pass as well.  Am I confident of being saved from a fire by a 140lb whiney drag queen looking broad? Not at all.  But it doesn’t matter, right?  As long as we care about equal rights we’re all good..)

Jon and Nadya Plus 14 plus another 8 on Weekends

Octomom Is Hot For Jon Gosselin – [myfoxphilly.com]

PHILADELPHIA – Octomom Nadya Suleman says Jon Gosselin is hot and she has a crush on the reality TV dad.

Suleman spoke with Radar Online about the 32-year-old former “Jon & Kate” star, and she also had some life advice for Kate Gosselin.

“I wish everyone would leave her alone. I’m sure she trusts herself and trusts that she’s strong enough to handle it.”

But her best comments were about Jon Gosselin.

“I kind of have a crush on Jon Gosselin,” Suleman said. “I think he’s hot!”

Suleman has 14 children, including her octuplets. Jon Gosselin has eight children, including his sextuplets.

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Make babies and profit!

(se: I would definitely tune in to watch “Jon and Nadya plus 22“. It’s like one of those crazy Mormon families, except for Nadya being bat shit crazy, and Jon being an attention whore. Imagine the crazy antics that you’ll get to see.  Also picture the look on Kate’s face when Jon goes to pick up his kids for a custody visit in a school bus.

In reality we’re all waiting for Jon, Kate, and Nadya to have their kids taken away and them all locked up in some mental ward for being retarded unfit parents.  Using your kids as a gateway to fuel your own fantasies of being a celebrity are weak. I’m looking at you too Billy Ray Cyrus..)

Balloon Boy a hoax. We all knew it and were waiting for this!

DiManno: Balloon boy bursts dad’s bubble [thestar.com]

Famous. Infamous. The distinction doesn’t matter any more. The Heenes got what they lusted for: Worldwide TV face-time, a pathetic affirmation of their otherwise insignificant existence, star billing in manufactured melodrama. Mission accomplished. All it took was an aluminum foil balloon that resembled a humongous hangover ice-bag, a conspiracy of pretense forced on their children and the complicity of a credulous media contaminated by infotainment pressures. And cops too, they were in on the sham, albeit and allegedly somewhat belatedly, mounting what they now claim was a tit-for-tat sting in order to elicit the truth.

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Hope you get a good raping in jail fuck face!

(se: Ok.  Everyone with a half a brain knew this was a hoax.  When normal people get their dose of Reality TV stardom they could never get back to their normal dull lives.  Now this was a stupid hoax anyways, and these people are definitely nut cases.  The best part is that your son screwed it up for you.  It’s probably God’s way of punishing you for naming him Falcon.  Only hippies and Native Indians name their kids after animals.  You know what I would like to see?  I’d like to see the family have to pay back every cent that was spent by the authorities on this, and jail time for the parents.  Like 10 years jail time.  That will teach them  a valuable lesson! Bastards)

Miley Cyrus quits Twitter, Life goes on.

I heard Miley quit Twiiter, and then did a rap song to announce that she left and why.  People probably didn’t care too much, that’s why after she left no one noticed, and she needed to tell everyone abut it.  Great going Miley, you deserve a gold star.

Anyone miss me yet? Internet? Someone?

You should have done what everyone else does, walk away and don’t say anything, or hire someone to sit there and post your PR.  Most people follow you because you’re there, and you’re you, but I doubt that most of those people care abut your tweets.  That’s what’s great about Twitter, you can follow a bunch of people and just hope something interesting happens.

I guess not having Miley around on Twitter is breaking her dads achy breaky heart, cause apparently he is begging her to get back on.  It’s sad when you’re washed up you need your kid on Twitter to help your career.  Now who is he going to tweet to borrow money?

So where do we sit with Twitter?  Are we going to see more celebrities leaving and taking their personal lives with them, or will Twitter continue be the attention whore tool that every celebrity and celebrity wannabe needs to be on?

Catch us on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/AlmostRetarded

Ralph Lauren puts ugly clothes on a Q-Tip, Still better than cleaning your ears with a fat chick

Man.

Here we go again.  It’s looks like Ralph Lauren has this ad with an extremely skinny chick and everyone is getting mad about it.  Usually it starts with the fat chicks that are all about not being able to lose weight and taking it out on non-fatties “healthy” looking women.

Ok, it’s a given.  She’s definitely really skinny, and looks like a hairy Q-Tip with some crappy clothes on, but still, she’s hotter than a fat chick in the same outfit. Who knows, maybe she has good genetics and can’t gain weight?  Is this what this world has come to?  if you are overweight, you eat bad, and don’t work out, you’re a “healthy”, “normal” or “average” woman?  Imagine if a guy went to the gym and had a 6 pack.  Does he automatically become an anorexic guy that doesn’t eat and is unhealthy because he doesn’t have a beer belly?  How come you never see guys with beer bellies being shoved on the cover of magazine to represent the “average” man?  How about women talking about how sexy it is to have a fat guy, or a guy with a beer gut?  Women want their men to be in shape, and have a six pack, instead of double chins and beer guts, but soon as a women has a beer gut and double chins she is healthy and beautiful, and should be on the cover of a magazine.  A real plus sized model.

Hey, I wish I could complain about buff guys because I’m insecure, but I’m not, and guys just aren’t catty like that.

Leave the twig alone, if you don’t like or don’t wear Ralph Lauren, who cares, find something else to do.  If you’re a RL fan, and you’re offended because you’re a fatty, maybe you should start jogging and going to the gym. Not eating donuts as a meal also helps.

The more I think about it is the more I think you complaining fat chicks suck. Is this stick girl raping and killing children? No? She’s just a skinny chick, doing what skinny chicks do. Model.

If you’re that offended, stick a chill pill in your super sized double big mac with cheese and bacon combo and relax.

VH1 Star, Alleged Killer Ryan Jenkins Found Dead [Crime]

VH1 Star, Alleged Killer Ryan Jenkins Found Dead [Crime]: “

The search for Ryan Jenkins, who appeared on VH1’s Megan Wants a Millionaire and was later accused of murdering his model wife, Jasmine Fiore, has come to a predictable, disturbing end: he’s dead.

Police sources in Jenkins’ native Canada, where authorities believe he fled after murdering Fiore, say that the 32-year old took his own life in a British Columbia hotel room.

‘We were able to determine that it was Ryan Jenkins,’ said Sgt. Duncan Pound of the RCMP’s Federal Border Integrity Program, during an early evening news conference. ‘At this point it would be speculation as to how long he had been there.’

The find came just hours after RCMP said Jenkins was in Canada…

Honestly, we feel a bit cheated on this one: not only are we firm believers that murderers should feel justice’s swift kick, but the brutality of this crime – Fiore’s body was found in a suitcase sans teeth and fingers and was identified via her breast implants – only enhanced our thirst for a relatively happy ending, not a hanging.

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(se: He probably saw how stupid his haircut looked on TV and decided to end it all. One less douche with a stupid haircut, and probably a whole closet of Ed Hardy clothes.)

Hulk Hogan looks like a mess..