Flying Saucer in Colorado

So some time today news stations began reporting a flying saucer was being tracked through Colorado. Then they claimed that it was actually a weather balloon, then they said its a weather balloon shaped like a flying saucer with a 6 year old boy in it. Then at one point the Colorado air defense lifted off some jets to chase the balloon. Then a Black Hawk helicopter took off and tracked the flying saucer air balloon with a 6 year old in it (you following?). So as CNN is video taping this, something looks like it falls from the balloon. CNN the great news station they are, begin to report something falling from the balloon and that it could be the 6 year old boy.

OMFG! WTF! IS THAT A UFO?

While all this is going on, eventually this thing runs out of helium and begins to land. People run to the balloon to see if the boy is there, and nope he is not. So now lets not panic. OH YEAH, it’s CNN. OMG! The little 6 year old must have fallen out of the balloon. OH the humanity! So everyone is watching this all unfold like its the end of the world. While the police were explaining that the child is still missing someone runs up and says they found the boy. OMG! The kid was hiding in the attic under a cardboard box. He was never in the balloon, and most of this story is stupid.

Now interestingly enough, the family was on Wife Swap recently talking about all the great things that this father does and how he lets his kids roam free to experience all the great things in life. You know, like chasing tornado’s and any other crazy weather phenomenon. He brings his kids with him, and look what he gets. Stupid ass caused a damn national terror alert and cost the United States millions of dollars chasing a hot air balloon with jet fighter planes, helicopters, police, and other crazy people that joined in the chase. Only in the USA can stupid shit like this happen.

What would I do in this situation? Well after I find my son hiding under a cardboard box in the attic I think I would beat the living shit out of him. First you fucked up my UFO.  That’s a big no-no asshole. Second we thought you were in my UFO, and you know daddy is the only pilot of my interstellar space balloon. Third, it just cost the country millions for no apparent reason and CNN had to warn everyone with the breaking news bullshit that there was a 6 year old in a UFO balloon. If I was the father I would tell the kid to sit in the corner and think about what he did. Sit in the corner of the locked basement cellar for a good week till that shit for brains understands that untying a fucking UFO balloon isn’t too smart and probably will end up scaring the shit out of people in the end.

Either way this is funny shit and I want to know where I can buy one of these things freak my neighbors out and shit. I guess we now know the answer to Roswell!

LeeRoy out..